Managing Expectations

I’m on a quest for silver linings, lights at ends of tunnels, and a pair of clothes that doesn’t look like I bought it in Thamel or at a country fair; I don’t need the pot of gold at the end, but I’d take the rainbow. Only when I found out that, as part of a protest in the far-west of Nepal that is now in its 18^th day, some people had cut the power indefinitely in Dang (the district Tulsipur is in) during a heat wave of 108-110 degrees was I able to say that I was glad I at least wasn’t there. Otherwise I try to tell myself that this will be a great story someday, and it will be better told and easier for people to listen to if I haven’t pulled all my hair out.

We’ve been stuck in Kathmandu now for 11 days. This was supposed to be a very short trip. A jaunt, really. It’s silly to think that at the beginning our irritation lay in the fact that we were going to be on the bus nearly as long as we were going to be in Kathmandu. The purpose of coming here was to extend our visas for three more months, but for reasons I won’t go into at the moment this did not happen. Instead we have only a few weeks left in Nepal and as the days continue to pass, and with the political situation growing increasingly precarious in the lead up to the May 27^th “final” deadline for the constitution, it seems less and less likely that we will be able to make it home to salvage any of our things.  Bandhs (closures/strikes) are scheduled for everyday leading up to the deadline, in various parts of the country, and for a variety of different reasons. The major questions of what structure of federalism the country will take and how many states there will be is one of the most contentious issues. There are those that want ethnic federalism, those that want caste based federalism, those that want federalism based on dal recipes, eye color, gender, or metabolic rate. There are frictions between the different groups, as well as different factions within groups. There are too many ways of how people identify and not enough ways to turn those differences into a cohesive structure. From where I sit (currently mostly in a hotel room) all of the frustrations that people have felt for so many years, and what seems to be their intense fear of not getting adequate representation, being forgotten and undermined by the governments, as well as sidelined and taken advantage of by the historically powerful societal groups is at the heart of the problem. The constitution is more than just a constitution. The symbolic weight it carries for the possibility of equality and prosperity makes it clear why its promulgation has become a forum for the airing of grievances. As an outsider it seems that people fear that if all issues aren’t intimately addressed in the initial constitution then they never will be. But a constitution is not a magical solution. Yes, it is essential feature for the functioning of the country, any country, however much more than a constitution is needed to actually mitigate the damage that has been caused by decades of inequality and discrimination. All of those problems will not go away on May 27^th or whenever a constitution is finally in place.

There was a day at work a few months ago when everybody seemed to be leaving in droves at around noon. On his way out, one of our coworkers said that we should join in the activity. Neither Scott nor I understood what he was saying the activity was. It sounded like he said everyone was going to the market to weed, and his accompanying hand gesture seemed to resemble pulling weeds. This didn't make much sense, but even when he repeated what people were going to be doing that's still what it sounded like. When we asked again where, it again sounded like he said the market. Tulsipur is small, but we were still unsure of where this so called "market" was. By the time we had gathered our things and were heading out the door everyone had already left. Those that did not have any transportation other than their feet carpooled with those that had motorcycles. Given the few options of where people could go in such a town, we began walking up the main street thinking we would catch up with them. It was hot. We did not find them. I started to think that what he said was that BASE was having its annual hamburger cookout. As we continued to search my understanding of what we were missing out on continued to grow. Not only was it a cookout, but there was obviously also a pool. Prizes for sure (not like the juice boxes or packs of cigarettes you could win at the ring toss at the carnival we later went to, but real prizes - like bonus hours of electricity or over-sized stuffed animals). I'd be able to wear shorts and a tank-top. There were probably cold drinks with non-diarrhea inducing ice, pineapple slices, and bendy straws. I was reasonable, I never assumed there'd be umbrellas. 

We never did find out what people were actually doing. We were too freaked out to push the matter when a few hours later we got a phone call that we needed to return to the office because there was a policeman there who needed our passport information and travel plans. The lesson learned was not a new one, but just a reminder of one that we have known since the day we stepped off the plane in Nepal for the first time. Manage your expectations. And by manage, I mean don't expect anything, or more obnoxiously "expect the unexpected." Both the good and the bad are unforeseeable. It's a good game to think of a scenario and what will happen, but for better or worse, you will always be wrong. It's important to remember not to expect too much, or anything for that matter. Often you will be pleasantly surprised. Sometimes, not so much. This doesn't mean to lay down your Kukari knives and give up, but keep things in perspective. The Nepali constitution could turn out to be the most amazing document ever written, one capable of automatically fixing every problem in the country. But, like everything else, I wouldn't put much stock in it. It seems like just another case of needing to manage expectations.

I hope that I will be able to get back to Tulsipur so that I can pack up my things before leaving the country, but I am finally at the point where I truly accept that I cannot expect that to be the case. Today is another day that we will stay in Kathmandu and wander around without a destination, stopping at a travel agency at some point to find out if our bus will be running. Tomorrow we will go to the zoo.