Dear Mr. Fruit Seller,

I’m not sure exactly why you find 6am to be the best time to come sauntering through my neighborhood shouting aap, aap, angur, aap but I gotta tell you, it is totally uncalled for. And why is it that you walk past more than once? If no one rushes out to buy your mangoes and grapes the first time, don’t you think you should suck it up and move on? When I heard you the first day I was sure you were calling out for someone, a lost love or child perhaps. On day two I thought you were some strange neighborhood wake up call… I mean I heard that people here tend to all get up early so a communal crier didn’t seem so far fetched. By day three I finally identified at least part of what you were saying. Mango? Really? I am so disappointed. I just can’t find anything endearing about the tone of voice you are using to announce the fact that you have fruit for sale. This is Nepal. There are mangoes everywhere. Couldn’t you try some other sales tactic? A silent one perhaps.

Thanks,
Katie

P.S. Could you please tell the garbage guy, that while I don’t want to discourage him from his collections, maybe he could consider setting up a scheduled pick up time instead of blowing a whistle at dawn. Thanks again!